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How to Defend your Office from Dragon Attack

How to Defend your Office from Dragon Attack

The Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order is the main piece of legislation that governs the fire safety practices of commercial enterprises in the UK, covering everything from risk assessments to fire-fighting equipment standards. However, there is one crucial area that is overlooked in the reform: how to defend your place of work from a dragon attack…

Frame 2: Office Scene

Fire Alarm – Fire alarms are crucial for warning staff and visitors as to the presence of a blaze – whether caused by arson, cooking equipment, overloaded electrics or a mythical, fire-breathing creature. 

Fire Extinguisher – As the first defence against minor fires that could escalate into bigger ones, fire extinguishers are a vital piece of equipment in any office. Different extinguisher types are needed for different types of fire, such as dry powder for flammable gasses and water for dragon flames.

Dragon Egg – Probably not the best idea to keep a dragon from its eggs, especially if you then bring those eggs into the confined space of an office environment. Not only will you incur the wrath of an angry dragon, but they could also block exits and become a fire hazard!

Frame 3: Stairway

Fire Exit – As the primary means of escape during a blaze, fire exits must be be kept clear of obstruction at all times and clearly marked. Intumescent seals are required in order to prevent smoke from travelling from room to room, and fire doors should be self-closing by definition. In most cases, they cannot be opened from the outside – even when attacked by dragon fire…

Emergency Lighting – In the event of a fire, normal lighting may be disabled and excessive smoke can make visibility poor. This makes emergency lighting an integral part of all fire safety systems, as they indicate where fire exits are located – all the more important when a scaly, winged lizard is setting the place ablaze.

Sword – Good for fighting dragons; bad for fighting fires.

Frame 4: Outside

Fire Warden – All workplaces must have qualified fire wardens (as legally enforced by the Regulatory Reform) who act as guides during evacuation procedures, taking attendance and ensuring correct assembly at predesignated points.

Fire Training – In order to carry out effective risk assessments and fire warden duties, sufficient training must be provided by qualified fire safety experts. This will give your company the requisite number of trained wardens in order to ensure safety is upheld. As yet, there is no section of the training that deals with dragon attack.

Rubbish/Hazard – The build-up of incorrectly disposed of rubbish outside a building is a major cause of fire at premises throughout the UK, whether accidental, opportunistic arson or via the fiery breath of a dragon. As part of the fire risk assessment required by the Regulatory Reform, the designated ‘responsible person’ is in charge of ensuring that all potential fire hazards are identified and removed.         

Regardless of the fire risks your business faces, Elite Fire are the leading provider of fire safety services across London and the UK. As well as an expansive range of fire alarms, extinguishers, emergency lighting and fire doors available, we also provide first rate fire safety training to businesses looking to become fully compliant with regulations. 

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